Last days

I have eaten out so much in the last two weeks. Mmmm. Tonight being my last night here, we went out for Italian, a rather bizarre thing to eat in the Caribbean, I know. It was excellent though, I had pasta with chicken and three types of mushroom, and then tiramisu, which I love. And one last rum punch, of course! So now I'm feeling exceptionally full.

I have spent the last two days sitting by the pool at the Hilton, working on my creative writing course, reading and swimming. It's been blissful. It'd be so nice to be able to write for a living and sit by a pool writing, and knowing that was your full time job. Sadly I have to go back to my real and tedious job next week, but I've managed to forget about it pretty much all the time, which has been lovely. Just what's needed.

***

So, while I've been here I have seen a lot of American TV. There are some local channels, but most are American. And I have to say, American TV is weird. There are adverts every 10 minutes, which is really irritating. There are constant adverts for other programmes, the same advert for the same programme every single advert break. It's so tedious. It makes me really determined not to ever watch any of the programmes after I've had them shoved in my face thirty times in two hours.

Also, the adverts are incredibly sexist. I criticise British adverts, but at least we have adverts that show men doing the washing and other non-stereotypical things. American adverts are so sexist it's unbelievable. There's actually a woman who gets so angry about a stain on her washing that she throws the washing machine out of the house, making a giant hole in the roof. And her husband, who owns the stained shirt, whined about it to her and then watched her totally lose it. Clearly this is the most important thing in her life. There are loads of adverts for prescription medicine too, with people constantly telling me to ask my doctor about medication for any number of conditions. And they're always "Side effects are mild, and may include internal bleeding, ulcers, and infection". Yes, very mild. In the UK, we get adverts for cold and flu medicine, and things you can buy over the counter, but not stuff you have to get on prescription. It seems so bizarre to me, I'd never dream of going to my doctor and going "Ooh, well I saw this advert on TV for a medicine, I think I'll try that!" I hope my doctor knows more about medicine than I do, or else I'm in trouble.

There's also a really irritating woman who wishes life was like a parking meter and she could just keep putting in money. I bet she wouldn't wish that when she was a minute too late putting her coin in, and her car got clamped.

Also, (and this is really not interesting to anyone except me) "Law & Order", in fact, all of the Law & Orders, have different beginnings and theme tunes in the UK and the US. Which seems pointless when it's a US series. At first I thought it was just an earlier or later season, but I've seen a few episodes here that I'd already watched at home. Before every US episode, you get this creepy man's voice saying "In the criminal justice system, people are represented by two different groups. The police, who investigate crime, and the district attorneys who prosecute the criminals. These are their stories." (That's not the exact wording, but hey). "Law & Order: SVU" and "Law & Order: Criminal Intent" have similar explanations. I can only conclude this is because there are lots of Americans too stupid to realise what the programmes are about and therefore need it explaining before they watch them. I'm obviously not including any readers in this group, if you can follow my rambling entries you're doing better than I am.
Anyway, I should really stop my tirade against American TV, it's getting old. And there are some good things. Such as the fact I have managed to watch six or seven episodes of various Law & Order series without even trying. And the fact that "Frasier" is on every morning. Daytime TV is actually watchable when you can see things like that, and not the crap that's on every single UK free channel all day.

***

OK, so tomorrow I begin what is pretty much a 2 day journey home:
Leave apartment: 9.30am-ish.
Flight to Tobago: 11:50am
Get to Tobago (if all goes well) 12:15pm
Check in for flight to UK: 2:15pm
Flight to UK leaves: 5.25pm (10.25pm UK time)
Land at Gatwick: 7:15am UK time.
Get back to London, and across London to Liverpool Street station
Train from London: 1.30pm
Back in home city: 3.30pm.
It's hideous even thinking about it. I wish I could teleport.